Glory Glory HallelujahKatherine D. Morgan
God told me that He knew that I loved you before I ever said it out loud. It wasn’t His fault for reading my thoughts, since He’s all knowing and whatnot. He knew that I’d been holding back, watching as I chewed on the syllables, grinding them in between my teeth long before the words came out. I used to choke on them every time I saw you, swallowing hard as the phrase attempted to escape. When it finally did, you asked “What took you so long?” and I said that I’d been hoping that you’d say it first. Truth be told, what I really needed was a sign. I needed to know that you were still going to see someone worthy of your love even when I didn’t. I needed to know that you could still love me at my worst, because sometimes, my worst is all that I am. But instead of saying all that shit, I texted you every couple of weeks and asked if you still liked me. Even though I always expected a “No,” you’d enthusiastically respond “I do,” which personally, I like to believe is foreshadowing, but God tells me not to get ahead of myself and to delete the Pinterest board or to at least make it private. Even after all this, I still don’t know if I believe in God, but maybe I can learn to believe in Anything or Anyone who has brought me someone as good as you. What’s so hard about believing in something you can’t see or touch, but that you can feel? God nods, agreeing. Hallelujah indeed.
Katherine D. Morgan is author of the debut chapbook No Self-Respecting Woman. Her work has appeared or is forth-coming at Huffington Post, Bitch Media, LitHub, The Rumpus, and Hello-Giggles, among others. Katherine’s work has been nominated for the two Best of Net awards. She lives in Portland, Oregon, where she works at Powell’s Books.
Originally published in Moss: Volume Seven.